


Smile

by Kiri_Kaitou_Clover



Series: Fake Smiles, True Friends [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Chameleon - Freeform, Depression, F/M, Identity Reveal, Lila the Liar, Post Episode: s03e01 Chameleon, Suicidal Thoughts, adrien your suggestion has consequences, fake smiles, hurt Marinette, marinette needs a hug, salt fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 11:02:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16852813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiri_Kaitou_Clover/pseuds/Kiri_Kaitou_Clover
Summary: Smile.That was all she could do.Grin and bear with the lies..........She couldn't take it.(Warning: Please read the tags before reading the fic.)





	Smile

**Author's Note:**

> Ahahahahahaha its 4am and i wrote something depressing and i need therapy. Also I hate the liar so damn much right now. 
> 
> Also please turn back if suicide is not something you wish to read about. Just writing this fic hurt me in ways i never could imagine and this is my first Ladybug fic why.

Smile.

That was all she could do, grin and bear with it. 

Bear with the lies. 

Bear with the loneliness. 

Bear with the pain of knowing that Lila would find a way to turn her words against her if she ever spoke up.

All she could do was smile and act as if nothing had changed.

But it had.

They called her their "Everyday Ladybug", but they forgot that she was just Marinette. She had emotions. She had feelings. She had opinions. 

And none of them had taken them into account. They made the choice for her, and when she spoke out against it, they had immediately come to the completely wrong assumption. When she had acted on her emotions, they immediately turned against her.

She had hoped something would change when she returned the next day. But nothing did. No one apologised. No one looked at her, all too caught up in the web of lies woven by the liar, having not learnt her lesson.

No one except Adrien. Who reminded her that acting out in anger would Akumatize the liar again. That it was perhaps best to take the high road. Adrien, who knew of the liar's lies. Adrien who stood by her, Marinette. 

And yet. That threat loomed over her. 

That promise to Adrien to take the high road echoed in her mind as she grit her teeth and ignored the lies. 

She smiled. 

and _smiled_.

Day in, day out. 

Smiling, even if she didn't mean it. 

Smiling as the liar brushed past her with a satisfied grin and another threat on her lips.

Smiling as Alya slowly drifted away from her, taking in the charming lies.

Smiling... _as she broke inside_.

* * *

She was empty. Smiling, but empty. Nothing mattered anymore. Tikki's advice and pleas to listen a mere murmur. Her parents knowing something was terribly wrong, but unable to help. 

She smiled as she transformed, her words dull and monotonous as she did. 

She smiled as leaped past a concerned Chat, reassuring him with her words. 

(Chat knew something was wrong the moment he saw his Lady. Her smile, one he had seen mirrored on his own in the past, and more recently mirrored on Marinette. Her eyes and words were dull and empty despite trying to reassure him.)

She smiled as she gazed down at the street below from the top of the Effiel Tower.  Her feet balanced on the edge, just enough to keep her from falling off. 

The grays of the concrete just looked

            so

                    tempting

                                   maybe

                                                 she

                                                             should...

"Marinette?" 

She whirled around with a yelp and lost her balance, falling off the ledge she had been on, only to be caught by a leather clad arm and gazing into cat like eyes that were too green.

As Chat set them both down on the center of a different roof, realisation hit her at what she had almost done, and the dam burst. She couldn't hold up her smile any longer. 

"Chat... help me..."

* * *

Chat felt the guilt pool in him as Ladybug... no, Marinette broke down in his arms, sobbing and finally letting out the hurt she had been feeling. It was his fault. He had asked Marinette to tolerate Lila's lies but clearly, it had been a mistake. His strong, brave Princess, had been more vulnerable and hurt by everything that had been happening in their class... He had to make things right.

"Shh... It's alright Princess, I've got you. I'm here. Everything will be alright."

"No it won't! She keeps lying to them, every single day, and she even kept her promise! She said she would take my friends away and she did! I haven't talked to Alya in weeks, even when I'm sitting right next to her! And even if I try to call her out on her lies she'll just turn my words against me! And I tried! I tried to tolerate her lies like Adrien asked of me but I can't! Not anymore! It hurts Chat! It hurts!" Marinette sobbed into his chest as he tightened his arms around her.

"And I shouldn't have asked that of you. Not of your kind, giving heart, Marinette. Not of you who always hated liars that you got angry at me on my first day, thinking I put that gum on your seat. Not of you who always stood for what was right."

He knew that he had given away his identity the moment he felt her tense in his arms at those words. The Akuma that had been fluttering towards them turning away as the negativity gave way to surprise.

"A..Adrien?" She stuttered, blinking past the tears. 

Smiling as she figured it out, a quick 'Claws in' and a flash of green, he stood before her, identity revealed to her. 

"Hey Princess," Adrien smiled at her.

...

And she smiled back. A genuine smile. Not the fake one she'd been showing to the class and everyone around her. The first one in weeks, even if it was accompanied by tears. 

"Hey Adrien," she warbled, wiping the tears away before giving a watery giggle. "I'm so stupid."

Adrien tilted his head in confusion.

"I've been rejecting the very person I fell in love with the entire time," She confessed, awkwardly smiling at him.

It took a few seconds... and he blushed, eyes wide in surprise... but then chuckled himself, "Then I guess we were both blind to what was right in front of us the whole time."

A flash of red revealed Marinette without her mask. While there were bags under her eyes, Adrien felt relieved that for once, her eyes were clear and bright, and a smile, hesitant as it was, that was genuine and true.

The red Kwami Plagg called Tikki chittered angrily at Marinette, while tears flowed with relief as Marinette smiled and apologised for worrying her partner. Plagg lounged around, complaining at everyone being over dramatic, turning Tikki's anger to him while Marinette laughed, mood lightened.

And for Marinette, Marinette was once again reminded that she always had someone standing beside her, someone who somehow had become a pillar of support, unwavering and standing by her. 

* * *

Maybe the lies did hurt. Maybe the lack of loyalty from her friends did sting. 

But as she stood in front of the classroom door, hesitant to deal with another day of lies, a hand slipped into her's and she gazed into gentle green eyes, reassuring her of his presence. 

She smiled. Smiled as she walked hand in hand with Adrien and smiled as the classroom looked on in stunned silence, as Chloe let out a choked shout of indignation... as the liar seethed in fury.

There was no pride or satisfaction in her smile. But rather, a relief and a happiness that hadn't been there in a long time. Marinette and Adrien traded knowing looks as both Nino and Alya snapped out of their daze and hounded them for details, and instead opted to simply smile.

**Author's Note:**

> There are two sources of inspiration from this fic.  
> 1\. Yamamoto Takeshi's near suicide scene from Katekyo Hitman Reborn.  
> 2\. My own suicidal thoughts.  
> About three years back, I was... depressed. Tired. Empty. Felt like a failure. I sat in my car, and contemplated driving myself into some sort of barrier as a means of suicide. I never went through with it. But a lot of the thoughts I had about it are echoed here in Marinette's internal thoughts. Loneliness HURTS. It hurts especially when you cover it up with a cheerful smile every day. 
> 
> The major theme of this fic is fake smiles and loneliness, and perhaps overcoming it. Adrien is currently Mari's only true pillar of support in the show, outside of Tikki and her parents. He's the only one to understand why she has no love for the liar. But his words had consequences. What Adrien told Mari was essentially to just grin and bear with it. and this is a mistake. Because at some point, you'll break, and the smiles will become empty and brittle. 
> 
> ...
> 
> Guys please go read something happy after this this is mostly depressing and painful and i should go sleep now go read some funny reveal fics please.


End file.
